Mutant Treasure Island
by batman100
Summary: The X-Gang and DBZ perform a hilarious parody of Muppet Treasure Island! Robert Louis Stevenson's story will NEVER be the same
1. Chapter 1

**Mutant Treasure Island by Batman100**

**Author's Note: So… I've been a huge Muppets fan and wondered how awesome- and funny it would be of doing a parody of this film X-Men Evo style. Of course, it will feature the awesome songs, notably Shiver my Timbers by the music god Hans Zimmer! Hope you like it!**

"OK, everyone listen up!" Ghost Rider bellowed through the megaphone as the X-Crew and the Z-Warriors gathered "We are doing a parody" which responded with a few cheers… and some groans

"Not **again!**" Lance moaned. "We did that last month." Kitty reminded. The brimstone biker turned and gave her a look "Wanna bet?"

"Just what **are** we spoofing this time? Pulp Fiction? Inglorious Basterds?" Logan sarcastically asked

"No, and No to both of those! We're doing Muppet Treasure Island!" Ghost Rider declared proudly

"WHAT?!" the X-Men roared in shock. Vegeta fainted in disgust. "Ghost Rider, have you gone nuts?! We are NOT dressing up as weird-looking creatures!" Scott snapped "Ok, you get to be Gonzo. And trust me, you get a main part." Ghost Rider snidely replied. Scott whooped

"Jean… I cant believe I'm saying this, I don't know any other way to put it… you're Rizzo." Ghost Rider calmly stated, as Jean's eye started twitching

"A RAT?! WHY ON EARTH WOULD **I** DO THAT?!" Jean roared in fury, strangling GR by the neck

"You'll get more money. Now please… you're choking me." Ghost Rider wheezed. Jean planted a large kiss on him and raced off to the costume room

"Ok then…" Ghost Rider muttered and turned to Cell "Cell, you are Long John Silver." "YES! Finally, I get to be Tim Curry!" Cell exclaimed triumphantly, mimicking Frank N. Furter from Rocky Horror Picture Show (actually not that bad)

"Gambit, you're Smollet." Ghost Rider added, Remy gave a cheer "Uh… Peter, you're Squire Trelawney." Peter nodded in affirmation "Uh… Blob, Toad and Mastermind, you're Clueless Morgan, Polly Lobster and Mad Monty."

"ALL RIGHT!" the three flamboyant mutants cheered, Fred belly-bumping Toad and Mastermind, sending them flying into the storage closet

CRASH!

"Blob! Easy with those! That storage stuff cost me $40 grand!" Ghost Rider hissed. Blob nodded. GR then realized how stressful being a director is "Wanda, you're Benjamina Gunn. Pietro, Pyro and Hank, you're Mr. Silver, Beaker and Bunsen."

"Yes! Finally I get to portray my beloved idol!" Hank exclaimed, a goofy look on his face. Ghost Rider rolled his eyes and muttered, "Yes yes. Now all of you, get into costumes, NOW!"

"Excuse me, but what role do **I** have in this ridiculous excuse for a play?!" Vegeta snapped, his fist raised about to blast Ghost Rider. GR snarled then calmly replied "You're Billy Bones, the guy who gives Jim the map" then suddenly did a double take "18! You're Jim!"

"Wait a minute, wait a damn minute wiseguy… I am a **WOMAN**, not a MAN!" 18 bellowed. Ghost Rider teased in a sing-song voice "Then I guess you can forget about that extra expenses paycheck…"

"All right, you've got it!" 18 hurriedly obeyed, swiping the check from Ghost Rider's hand, as Gohan snickered in disgust

"Ok wiseguy, you and Trunks and Dende get to be the tribesmen." Ghost Rider ordered as they instantly did a limbo Jamaican version of PSY's Gangnam Style. GR instantly stomped over to the radio Duncan was using, grabbed a sledgehammer and smashed the radio- **and** Duncan's head with a loud SMASH!

"Ouch." Duncan weakly mumbled, keeling over with a splat. Ghost Rider faced the medics and ordered "Get that stiff outta here" and turned to Forge again "Forge, how soon can you recreate all the scenes from the film? Meaning the settings and scenery?"

"No problem sir. Wont take but a minute." Forge replied "Good man." Ghost Rider commented then faced Victor, Jamie Roberto and Amara "Victor, you're Sweetums, Jamie and Roberto, you're Statler and Waldorf and Amara, you're the big boisterous lady in the Benbow Inn."

"Yes!" Victor praised "Totally rad, dudes!" Jamie and Roberto echoed, high-fiving "I'll get the fat suit." Amara deadpanned, giving Ghost Rider a huge glare as she sauntered off

"Ok, everyone in position for the opening number! Now, lights! Camera! And my favorite part… ACTION!" Ghost Rider screamed, firing his pistol into the air, blasting down a large dove.

Camera pans backwards as we see two mountains over the horizons of a large, faraway island. Epic, rousing music is heard in the background as we hear Vegeta's monologue

"I was Broly's first mate on that voyage, three hazy days in the Caribbean. Broly knew an island. That's where we buried the treasure, gold and blood. They were Broly's trademarks. He'd leave both behind them that day." Vegeta rasped, muttering to himself "I cant believe Im doing this."

Victor smacked him "Shaddup. The song's starting" as Jamie clones set a large chest on the sandy floor

_Shiver my timbers shiver my soul. Yo ho heave ho_

_There are men whose hearts are as black as coal. Yo ho heave ho._

Two Jamie creatures popped out from the bushes and sang "_And they sailed their ship cross the ocean blue, a bloodthirsty captain and a cutthroat crew."_

"_It's a darker tale as was ever told of the lust for treasure, and the love of gold."_ Piccolo sung baritone as Broly's men moved onward

_Shiver my timbers shiver my sides Yo ho heave ho_

_There are hungers as strong as the winds and tides yo ho heave ho._

"_And those buccaneers drowned their sins in rum." _Rogue belted operatically "_The devil himself would have to call 'em scum._" Evan added

"_Every man onboard would have killed his mate, for a bag of guineas or a piece of eight." _Roshi and King Kai chorused

"_A piece of eight. A piece of eight." _Piccolo and Chi-Chi added

"_Of five six seven eight!"_ Waspinator echoed buzzing by. "Good cameo!" GR echoed

"_Hulu waka hulu waka something not right. Many wicked icky things gonna happen tonight. Hula waka hula waka sailor man beware.." _The Jamie tribesman chanted

"_When de money's in de ground, dere's murder in de air" _Two Jamie crabs versed "_Murder in de air!"_ Jeice piped up

"_One more time now boys!_" Ghost Rider joined in (the boys part I threw in, thought it might add in)

_Shiver my timbers, shiver my bones yo ho heave ho_

_There are secrets that sleep with old Davy Jones, yo ho heave ho_ We see Broly and his crew entering a cave as a Frieza snake slithers up

"_When the main sail's set, and the anchor's weighed, theres no turning back from any course that's laid." _Freiza hissed as a bunch of Jamie skulls added "_And when greed and villainy sail the sea, you can bet your boot there'll be treachery"_ cackling as Jean yodeled a vocal verse as Broly pulled out two pistols and aimed them at his own men

"_Shiver my Timbers shiver my sails." _Ghost Rider and Jean echoed before both added "_**DEAD MEN TELL NO TALES!**_"

**BANG! **Broly fired. "Oh aye, fifteen men went on shore that day, and only Broly set sail." Vegeta continued as we see an image of Broly burn until we see Vegeta himself, with a stubby beard, a drunken slur and a faint Scottish accent (Well, considering he **IS** spoofing Billy Connolly)

"Oh aye then ol' Broly up and died before he could get back to that cursed island…" Vegeta ranted, sticking out a finger as a warning "…and dig up the treasure. No one knows to this day who has ol' Broly's map" Vegeta finished, heaving loudly and taking a swig of rum

"Isn't that a story worth the hearing!" the patrons echoed sarcastically. "Meh, wasn't the first dozen times we heard it." Ray joked, all laughing drunkenly "I'll drink to that, ho-ho!" a bobbleheaded Jamie chorused

"Who has the map now? Some filthy, insensitive biker-riding bonehead?" Vegeta asked

"I HEARD THAT WISEASS!" Ghost Rider yelled infuriated. Vegeta rolled his eyes and said the actual lines "Some black-hearted squid-sucking buccaneer, or maybe's it our very own Eighteen Hawkins! Eh, Eighty?" Vegeta chuckled as a ragged, filthy covered 18 walked in carrying a tray of goblets with wine and rum, Scott and Jean following, dressed as a red-headed rat and a… um, whatever.

"That's right! We'd be out searching for that treasure! Sailing the seven seas on a five-year mission! Boldly going where no man has gone before!" Scott ranted, parodying the Star Trek intro before adding "Sounds catchy."

"Oh, heh, not me. If **I** had that treasure map, I'd sell it for a decent meal." Jean sarcastically moaned, inching up to the table and glanced at Vegeta's barely-touched scraps. "Hey Scott is he gonna eat those?"

"Shut it." Vegeta grunted before loudly exclaiming "AYE! Beware of the One-Legged Android! **HE'S** the one to fear!"

"Namely… Meeeeee!" Cell bellowed in a hammed-up opera voice. Logan dope-slapped him and gruffly muttered, "Knock it off."

"Eh, don't worry Vegeta, we'll watch for him." 18 replied in an unfazed tone. Jean snorted and remarked, "Yeah, I'll see him. If he's delivering a pizza!" That earned a few more laughs from the drunken customers and an irate Vegeta plonking the mug on Jean's head

"He is more treacherous than Broly! They say he double-crossed him!" Vegeta rambled as 18 loosened the mug off Jean's head and added "It's all right, we'll keep an eye out."

"Yeah, I mean how bad is it? Broken arm, half hand or spleen?" Scott cluelessly joked. Vegeta pulled him by the neck and added "It aint no laughing matter, wiseguy. One-legged android brings DEATH!"

As if on cue, a very large Amara sauntered in, toppling Krillin and Goten off their chairs and squishing Icarus "Closing time! The last call's been made so pack up your goods and shove off!" Amara barked, knocking over a very inebriated Mr. Popo dressed as a cow

"You've had enough haven't ya?" Amara snorted. Popo belched loudly in response. Amara then retched in disgust and rasped "Boys, come here and clean up this mess!"

"Thank you for business. I'll go hang it in m' room." Vegeta muttered, stumbling off as the patrons exited the inn as Amara stuck her head out and called

"Don't forget tomorrow's special: roast suckling potatoes." Amara announced as a drunk whatnot grunted and walked off. With a growl, Amara slammed the door shut

"And CUT!" Ghost Rider announced, turning to Jamie and ordering "Go check on Garlic to see if he has his Blind Pew costume on."

"Boy, that was terrific! I'm kinda starting to like this! Not to mention I get to trash Cell in the show!" Jean exclaimed, laughing insanely. "Uh… yeah, you do that. Uh, Warren?" Ghost Rider called out

"Yeah boss?" Warren asked "Go do me a favor and get Ms. Grey to the alcohol removal Centre NOW! We need her for the pirate raid scene!" Ghost Rider ordered as Warren, Bobby and Forge assisted a drunk Jean walk over to the backstage "Ohhh, I **LOVE** it!" Ghost Rider proudly hissed

**There you have it, Chapter 1 of this parody! Please comment and review and don't forget Chapter 2 aka Blind Pew is next**


	2. Chapter 2

**Mutant Treasure Island by Batman100**

Disclaimer: "I do NOT say blah blah blah!"

**Chapter 2: Proud Benbow Keep On Burning**

Ghost Rider paced around the Danger Room impatiently. It was five minutes to filming the next scene, and his stars were nowhere to be sought. As on cue, Android 18, Scott and Jean entered where the brimstone biker gave them a ferocious look

"There you are! Where in God's name have you been?" Ghost Rider snarled angrily, pointing to his watch "You're 3 minutes late! We have to finish this play by next month or I'm out of a job!"

"Ok, ok geez take a chill pill." Jean smirked. GR's eyes went orange with fury. "What did you say? You know better than trying to make me angry. So keep your smart-alec attitudes to yourself or you're fired. Have I made myself clear?" Ghost Rider warned, before cooling off and calmly saying, "I'm sorry. Had a rather rough night. Roxanne's been drinking again."

"It's ok Johnny. No biggie." 18 smoothly cracked. GR then cracked his whip and hollered "ALL ON THE SET! **NOW**!" as the X-Crew rushed to their assigned spots as GR sat on the director's chair.

"Garlic, you have your lines memorized?" GR asked through the megaphone. "Aye, laddie." Garlic responded, dressed in full Blind Pew regalia, wearing two convenient eye patches and wearing old age makeup.

"Ok, then lets get this done with." GR responded then hollered "ACTION!"

18, Jean and Scott were about done with cleaning the tables when a drunk and completely crazed Vegeta stumbled in, with an axe in his hand and a crazed look in his eyes

"RUM! Gimme the RUM, LADS!" Vegeta screamed, slashing tables in half whilst ranting "I've gots the reds! It's me bleeding heart!" until stopped by 18 who managed to hold him

"Its all right, its all right, we'll get some from the brewery." 18 calmly responded "Too late, no rum tonight." Amara shrilled from upstairs

"How does she bloody do that?" Vegeta gasped in complete awe when all of a sudden a strange tapping echoed on the door

"Hush, get underneath the cavern." Vegeta ordered until thwacked in the head with a large book of white paper

"SCRIPT, GODDAMN IT!" Ghost Rider screamed

18 rolled her eyes and both her, Scott and Jean complied as a wary Vegeta approached the door, only for it to slam open revealing a horribly ghastly sight

"AHAHAHAHA! It is I, Blind Pew!" Garlic cackled evilly as he approached a moose head whom he mistook for Vegeta "You thought you could escape us, eh? Well, I don't think so. You're too easy to track."

The moose grumbled something in disgust as Scott shivered in horror "Geez, that guy has some screw loose."

"SHHH!" Vegeta shushed too loudly. "Eh? Who said that?" Garlic stammered, twirling around the floor, toppling over tables, chairs and a bottle of wine

CRASH!

"There goes my spare champagne…" Bulma muttered backstage. 18 nearly gasped when Garlic grasped her neck

"Ahhh… Vegeta, me old matey. You have… some rather tasty skin, no?" Garlic leered sinisterly, revealing a horrific scar across his left eye.

"GR, can I **please** kill this bastard?" 18 whispered. Ghost Rider held up a sign proclaiming '(BLEEP) NO!' 18 simply continued squirming as Vegeta grabbed his pistol, aiming

"EEEEEEEEAAGH!" Garlic screeched, thwacking the pistol from Vegeta's hand and pinned him toward the wall, hissing evilly

"Now… we finally come down to this. Since you abandoned us and took the map for yourself, we want you to have… this." Garlic sneered, planting a paper with a black spot in Vegeta's hand. Garlic cackled chillingly as he stumbled out of the inn, before wandering in the left direction and knocking over barrels

CRASH! MROOWR!

"Agh! Stupid cat! Ach!" Garlic cackled in a faint German accent off-stage. Scott and Jean slammed the door quickly as Vegeta's hand quivered in horror at the sight of the paper Garlic gave him. He then screamed "THE BLACK SPOT! AAAAAAUUUUGHHHH!" The scream echoed through the night as Vegeta ransacked through his treasure chest as 18, Jean and Scott watched

"Geez, quite a lot of packing for one guy." Jean remarked. "But-but vegeta, what **is** a black spot?" 18 asked curiously

"A black spot is a pirate's death sentence! Garlic and his men are comin' to kill me! TONIGHT!" Vegeta rasped crazily, shoving in clothes, ragged pants, and pink underwear into his case

"oooh… pink underwear…" Jeice teased, snickering. "SHUT UP!" Ghost Rider hollered, thwacking him with a hammer

"But what was it about the map?" 18 asked. "It's nothing Eighty. It's a matter of life and d-AAAGH!" Vegeta suddenly rasped, collapsing on the bed as 18, Scott and Jean rushed to his side

"He **DIED?!** And **this** is supposed to be a **kids' **fanfiction!" Jean exclaimed as Vegeta moaned, grabbing Scott by the nose

"Eighty, Eighty Eight-Eight. You're a blessed sight to old Vegeta Bones." Vegeta cheerfully wheezed in a delirious state **coughlargehamcough**

"I'm not Eighty-Eight Eight-Eight. **He's** Eighty-Eight Eight Eight." Scott nasally rasped, Vegeta letting go of his nose as 18 rushed to him

"What is it?" 18 asked. "the map…" Vegeta rasped "What map?!" 18 asked in confusion. "THE MAP! Broly's map! I was his first mate! The chest, look in there!" Vegeta rasped

Scott and Jean dove in, scrambling through the chest "Nope… no, uh-uh, nada… zip." Scott muttered, rustling through stuff. Jean popped up wearing Groucho Marx glasses

"Hey guys look!" Jean goofily giggled. "JEAN!" Scott and 18 echoed in unison. Jean dove back in, 18 kept searching until finding a rolled-up paper. She opened it to reveal… Broly's map!

"It **is** a treasure map!" 18 exclaimed excitedly. "We're gonna be **rich!**" Scott cheered, dollar signs in his eyes "We're gonna be **dead**." Jean moaned

"AAGH! Beware!" Vegeta rasped. "Who? The One-Legged Android?" 18 asked, Cell grinning with delight in the backstage

"Aye, but also… beware of running with scissors or any other pointed object so someone could get k-AAAHH!" Vegeta shrieked, then expired

"V-Vegeta?" 18 asked fearfully. Scott gulped as Jean then echoed "We're standing in a room with a DEAD MAN!" All screamed as they headed downstairs only to duck as a bomb burst through the window

BANG! The door slammed open to reveal Garlic and his crew consisting of Recoome, Burter, King Cold, Cooler, Caliban, Emplate, Sinister, Sauron and Garokk. "Ohh Vegeta Bones… trick or treat! Hahahahahah!" Garlic cackled as 18, Scott and Jean ran away

"Don't try and hide Vegeta! You **KNOW** what we want!" Caliban roared menacingly, Scott and Jean running into the closet locking the door as the pirates ransacked the inn

"VEGETA BONES?! Where **ARE** you, VEGETA!" Caliban bellowed, 18 rapping on Amara's door. Amara stammered in annoyance, opening it only for 18 to rush in, slamming the door

"What the? What are you doing?" Amara asked as 18 looked out the window to see pirates carrying torches

"Eh? Ha ha! Ohh ohh." Garlic ecstatically gasped as he opened the grandfather clock "Voila! Hahhahahaah!" He cackled, rushing into it only to collapse with a thud, as the clock gonged

"Now **THAT'S** funny! Hahahahahhahaha!" Ghost Rider cackled hysterically, the rest giggling backstage (also my fave part)

"Ok, ok got the gun!" Jean stammered, holding up the rifle as Scott grabbed the gunpowder.

"Right, now we gotta load it." Scott muttered, filling it up. Jean sneezed, splattering mothballs on Scott's face. "oops." Jean meekly replied

"Vegeta's **DEAD!** And he **STILL** hasn't got the bloody map!" Caliban roared, Garlic hissing in reply "Ach! Those wee scoundrels must have it! KILL THEM!" Garlic roared, as Caliban and his men headed for the closet

"Scott Scott! I got the bullets! They're right…" Jean started, accidentally dropping the bullets onto the floor "…here."

"Aw, thanks a lot!" Scott muttered. "SCRIPT!" Ghost Rider snarled, hurling a pagebook at his head

"Open up in there! Give us the map or we'll skewer anyone who gets away with it!" Burter ordered, 18 and Amara gasping in horror. "Quick 18, the back stairs." Amara called, 18 rushing out before turning "Go! I'll handle 'em!" Amara called out

BOOM! Burter and his cronies cackled seeing Amara. "Oh HELL naw!" Amara growled, toppling the thugs like bowling pins "Cant a woman get any sleep alone?!" Amara hissed, before grabbing a fleeing Sinister and slapped him silly

"HA!" Victor hooted excitedly. Sinister spat out at him only to be pummeled more. "This-this gun is **USELESS!** We don't have the bullets!" Scott spat hysterically, as he and Jean squealed in fright as Caliban faced them with a savage look

"THE **MAP!** TELL US WHERE IT IS… OR **DIE!**" Caliban growled maniacally. Scott and Jean screamed in horror, running for their lives, Jean dropping the lantern

"GET **THEM!**" Caliban ordered, the pirates chasing them only to see the fuse of gunpowder light up… and following the figures. All at once, they ran in directions like crazy to avoid it

"Ah, I just **love** a good chase scene." Ghost Rider exclaimed, munching on popcorn, sharing a bowl with Cell

"Come on, come on! Head for the roof!" Scott shouted hysterically, he and Jean diving as Caliban noticed the fuse was heading for his foot.

"Oh woof." Caliban groaned.

**BOOOOMMMM** The Benbow Inn exploded in billowing flames as Caliban went careening through the roof. 18 avoided a blast of fire and made it to safety before a large wall of fire went through the roof

"AAA! GERONIMO!" Scott screamed, as he and Jean landed on the ground. "Guys!" 18 cheered in relief

"woo! Talk about an **EXIT!** Right through a brick wall!" Scott roared crazily "Im in so much pain! Ow ow ow" Jean winced, all three scrambling as an even bigger explosion ensued

"I think I smell something burning, no?" Garlic obviously asked stupidly. "Gee, how convenient." Ghost Rider sarcastically jeered before echoing "PYRO THAT'S ENOUGH WITH THE FLAMETHROWER!"

"Aw bugger!" Pyro moaned, shutting off the rapid-fire flamethrower. 18, Scott and Jean made it to the hillside, panting "What do we do **now?**" Jean asked

"Well we cant go home so…" 18 then grinned, holding up the map. Scott whooped for joy as Jean simply muttered in disgust "Oh no! No! No way you're taking me on some crazy treasure hunt! **I AM STAYING RIGHT HEAR!**" Jean snapped

"Oh gee good idea Jean. Then you could see what half-burnt vicious pirates look like." 18 sarcastically smirked. Jean then saw several burnt corpses then whooped "What are we waiting for?!"

"Hey! What about Amara?" 18 asked, when on cue, the windows smashed open, Amara stumbling out, holding Caliban and Burter by the neckhold "Go ahead, I'll hold 'em at bay!" She hollered

"How does she **DO THAT?**" 18, Jean and Scott echoed, only to then race off as a final explosion occurred. "Now who's going to clean this up?" Amara mused

"AND CUT!" Ghost Rider bellowed, clapping enthusiastically "Nicely done! Tremendous display! Vegeta, loved the performance, a little too much with the gasping." Ghost Rider commented as Vegeta relaxed in a sauna

"Aw, who cares? The big thing is I got my money." Vegeta smirked. GR rolled his eyes then faced Peter "Colossus, have you got your scene downpat?" "Da, comrade, I have always wanted a comedic part." Peter proudly stated

"Good man! You'll do fabulous!" GR exclaimed before seeing an overly excited Cell dressed in a Long John Silver outfit, with a hugely ridiculous grin on his face **cough large ham cough**

"Yes Cell, I know you're excited to imitate Tim Curry. Yes I know you're a big idol of his work. And **yes**, you can imitate his laugh." GR moaned

"YES!" Cell cheered, somersaulting around the stage in victory. Ghost Rider rubbed his sore skull then bellowed to Jamie "You! Get me a large root beer now!"


End file.
